Prepare Ye The Way!

For the Love of the Spirit

This is Going to Require Re-Scheduling

Greetings!

I got to thinking about the arbitrary nature of things and one in particular came to mind.  So I got out my Bible, two fresh legal pads, a half a dozen sharp pencils, and my calculator.

This is what I came up with.  I hope it doesn’t upset anyone, but it solves a problem which I hope you will agree that while it was not an earth shattering problem, it was, at the very least, mildly aggravating.

You see when God created the Heavens and the Earth, there were no named days of the week, because (as you probably already knew) there were no days to name.  That didn’t happen until God created “light” and separated it from “dark”  and named the part where you can see “Day” and the part where you can’t “night.”  Technically I can’t find it in the scriptures where he actually called the dark part “Night.”  But for the sake of the rubric I just assumed and as assumptions go, I think you have to give me this one.

Then there was “morning” and “evening” which marks the beginning of the light and dark periods.  So you see, first he created “light,” then he separated it from “dark,” and THEN came the “morning” and the “evening.”   The first day must of been kind of an easy day because before there could be morning and evening first light had to be created and then separated and nothing else could be done until the whole thing played itself out, before he could call it a “day.”  THEN he figuratively AND literally “called it a day.”  THAT was the first “day”  Look up Genesis 1:3-5 to confirm.

Now, here comes the arbitrary part (as I see it).  Genesis doesn’t tell us what the name of the first day was.  It could have been any one of seven, Monday through Sunday.

So, I decided to figure it out.

This was not to be just a fun academic exercise.  The result was to have a very important practical application as you will soon see.

I got my roommate and her two cats and we gathered together in the living room and I soon discovered that we were simply not going to have enough toes and fingers combined to begin to approach the problem.  I bribed our neighbors with coffee and pound cake. I even dragged a couple homeless people in with the promise of a warm place to sit for a while on something softer than concrete.  (They didn’t get coffee and cake.  I can’t afford to throw away plates, cups, and utensils.)

STILL, not enough digits!

So, after saying goodbye to the neighbors and kicking the homeless back to the curb, I broke out the calculator, pencils and paper.  Then, I began counting backwards.  I had to adjust for Leap Years.  Another troublesome thing came up when I had to adjust for the Julian and Gregorian calendars.  For that one I had to go to Wikipedia.

Well, after two days and a couple of gallons of coffee I was well into the Old Testament.  I ran across days that were called the “Sabbath,” but they just weren’t matching up with our present day “Saturday.”  They weren’t even consistent.  finally I got to Creation Week and began to count down.

Ready?

The first day EVER was a Wednesday!  Yep, sure is!  That means that the Sabbath (the day God rested from his labors) is

*drumroll*

Tuesday!

I hope that doesn’t create a lot of trouble for anyone.  It will mean that church calendars will have to be re-written.  BUT, it also means that Jews and Christians can go to services on the same day!  huh?  That alone is worth a Nobel Prize, if you ask me.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s Monday evening right now and I have to go lay out my suit for tomorrow.

michael

P.S. Another way to handle it to keep from upsetting people who don’t want their Sabbath to named after another day of the week, is to create another day of the week and give it an original name.  This would mean 8 day weeks and would involve a LOT more math, that I don’t know if I am qualified to perform.  But for the new day I have a name picked out already — Michday!  Hey, if I am responsible for creating it, then at least I should get it named after me, right?

md

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December 26, 2011 - Posted by | Humor | , , , ,

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