Prepare Ye The Way!

For the Love of the Spirit

Going to Hell

In my life I have been nearly or just as close to Hell as I believe any person has and returned to tell the tale.  That it is truly horrible is a gross understatement.  It is full of spiritual pain and torture.  At times I felt as though I was not near to Hell, but actually there.  Demons and Evil Spirits taunted and tormented me.

There were no grotesque and misshapen figures with membranous wings and armed with pitchforks.  There was no blistering heat or fire.  There were demons though.  And Satan stood nearby.

The demons were of alcohol, idolatry, pride, sexual lust, and anger.  I spoke with Unholy Spirits. Or perhaps there was just one Unholy Spirit masquerading as several.  I understand now what the man in the bible meant when,

Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”    “My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.”

(Mark 5:9 NIV)

I felt unloved, without hope, and irredeemable.  My brothers and sisters, in the face of an omnipotent God and his loving Holy Spirit, that is Hell.  I felt that it wasn’t that God COULD not redeem me, but that he WOULD not!  I felt that I had broken and burnt every possible bridge between me and the almighty.

I had crossed the River Styx.  Or so I thought.  I could be pulled back but I felt that I had taken one step too far.  I wailed in spiritual anguish.  I did speak to God, but it was to ask for the mercy of death.  I prayed to die.  I didn’t though.

Any reports to the contrary are premature.

I could go on for hundreds of words describing what I went through, but I will stop at what has been said.

My point is this,  You can go to Hell without dying, but WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO??

Obviously, you don’t.  Who would?  If my brief telling of my experience is not enough, then imagine in any way you wish what it would be like to have to live in a world covered in poverty, shame, and disrespect without the Love of God to assure you of it being worthwhile.  Imagine a world where you know of a loving God, but are so steeped in sin that you feel there is no return or escape–not EVEN in physical death!

This, brothers and sisters, is Hell.  You want to die.  You wait to die.  You pray to die.  You PLEAD for death, and it will not come.  If the Holy Spirit ever lived within you then it is either now gone or has become completely mute.  And that is the unkindest cut of all.  Having once had communion with the perfect Spirit of Love, now the communion is broken and you are left as you were before it entered your life–unloved by all including God.

Now listen closely to what I am about to say.


And when I spoke above about Satan standing nearby, he was doing more than standing.  He was talking.  Satan is the FATHER OF LIES!  He was laughing and telling me everything he knew to say that would pull this poor, hooked fish into his boat.  I was already in earthly Hell.  It was just a short distance from there to netting me and pulling me into his boat.  That boat is physical death and once inside without the saving grace of Jesus, then it is Hell.

The lie is that you are so far gone into sin that it was impossible to be redeemed.  The lie is that it is impossible to be forgiven and that it is impossible to reverse the sinful actions.  He tells you what the bible says, that all have sinned and will continue to sin–“The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.” (Shakespeare)  What he doesn’t tell you is that  God is greater than any sin.

He doesn’t tell you that God is not a vengeful God.  He doesn’t tell you that there is no sin for which you cannot be forgiven.  There is one, but as long as you hold your belief in the Holy Spirit and its omnipotence and goodness there is nothing to fear.  He does not tell you this scripture,

This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  (1 John 4:17-18)

When you are in that state of near Hell we do not feel that love.  It is very likely we have nothing but absolute disgust with ourselves.  We do not love ourselves so how much harder is it to believe that anyone else can love us, ESPECIALLY a perfect God.

But God cannot help but to love you.  It will do no good however if you do not accept it.  He cannot help but love and forgive if it is sought.

if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.   (2 Ti 2:12-13)

So, brothers and sisters, I encourage you to endure.  Do not disown him.  Hold to the Holy Spirit throughout all your pain, disease, fear, and sinfulness.  If your faith gets low, even to the bottom, if you feel like you are being pulled into Satan’s boat in the river of Hell, remember, you have but to call on his name and ask for deliverance for he remains faithful.

Don’t believe Satan.  God loves you regardless.  Call on him.  It works.  I know.


November 6, 2011 - Posted by | Redemption | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. This sounds like what my daughter is going through right now. She once had a very close relationship with the Lord, but now he is a recovering? addict, but still addicted to NA and all those people who she thinks are her only hope! She is being totally controlled and deceived by the enemy! Please keep her in your prayers! I am believing God that she will be rescued from this deception and will be totally saved and living for Him!

    Comment by Patricia | November 7, 2011 | Reply

    • Pat, I will most certainly keep her in my prayers. It is good that she found a way to become clean. I found that it was not until I became clean and sober that my mind was still too clouded by the immediate cravings of my addictions (demons) that I could not think clearly enough to function physically or mentally. I have known many people who were “addicted” to 2 step step groups and spent many many years (even decades) without going back to an addictive lifestyle. Most of those people eventually found God and the saving power of his love if they didn’t already have it, but they found that the only way they knew how to socialize was through the “group.”

      A.A. didn’t work for me. I tried for nearly 30 years to get sober through A.A. and failed every time. It was not until I turned it over to God that I was rescued from my addictive and sinful lifestyle. I still found though that I couldn’t function socially because the only way I had previously known was in the bar “culture.” After I became sober I began to socialize with the church. I joined in a community of believers.

      People will fail you. “Friends” in whom you find faith can and will relapse into past addictions. God NEVER fails, always loves, and will redeem merely for the asking.

      In Christ’s Love,

      Comment by Michael | November 7, 2011 | Reply

      • Thanks for your feedback Michael. My daughter has been in NA for two years and hasn’t gotten past the second step. She is getting no help at all but is getting involved in wrong relationships with other men while she was married….and continuously relapsing! The divorce is final but she lost her job and house. Her ex-husband (my son-in-law) who came to the Lord during the time took her back in and is finding out that she is deceiving him and not working to build a Godly relationship.she’s continuing to see other men and hand out with her friends, putting him and their little girl, Zoe, on the backburner! He is planning to kick her out any day now. He just wasn’t strong enough in the Lord to fight that battle against the enemy., So please keep us in your prayers! I’m claiming the victory! You sure have a powerful testimony! I’m sure your mother’s powerful prayers had alot to do with your deliverance! We have to really keep our families in prayer and be in the word every day because the time is short! Love you and God Bless! Pat

        Comment by Patricia | November 8, 2011 | Reply

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